Posted , in Client behaviour
Christmas: the back-office story
Beneath a glittering sky, Bethlehem sleeps. But in one dark corner a lone man bangs his desk with frustration.
INNKEEPER: Bloody ERP system’s crashed! First we had all those people coming for the census. And now this: a pregnant woman and I can’t add a ‘stable’ option to the drop-down room menu.
MAN: Hold down the function key and press ‘N’ for new.
INNKEEPER: [Starts] Blimey, where did you spring from? Look: we just don’t have any more rooms.
MAN: That’s OK. I’m here to help. You know there’s a mobile version of that, don’t you: you could be entering this information while you’re walking around…
[The innkeeper’s eyes narrow]
INNKEEPER: What are you, some kind of salesman?
MAN: No, no, not at all, I’m a… [He glows slightly]
INNKEEPER: What was that?
MAN: What was what? [He glows again, this time more brightly]
INNKEEPER: That! That glowing!!
MAN: Oh that…
INNKEEPER: You’re an angel, aren’t you?
INNKEEPER: Room 306. Down the hall. Already got a host of you packed in there, so you’ll have to leave the harp with the concierge.
MAN: Not that kind of angel.
INNKEEPER: How many kinds are there?
MAN: We’re diversifying. Did some customer research. Apparently, the old broadcast ‘peace and goodwill to all’ style doesn’t work for everyone, so we’re trying a more customised approach – you know, you talk, we listen. More ‘pull’ than ‘push’.
MAN: I’m a business angel. I mean I can already see that you’re going to have problems registering all those sheep in the system. And the shepherd in 402 really wanted non-smoking. Look, I can put a team of cherubs together and we can knock up a set of requirements in a couple of weeks. Allowing for the inevitable delays, you changing your requirements, other demands on our angelic time, we should be able to have it in by Easter.
MAN: Oops, spoilers! Sorry! Let’s say three months.
INNKEEPER: But I need it now.
MAN: We’ve got processes and procedures.
INNKEEPER: You really need to think about an operating model.
MAN: I’m an angel, not a fairy godmother!
http://thmiii.com/episodes/18/ Eight out of ten clients we speak to say that one of the most important reasons why they bring consultants in is to do things faster. Even at Christmas.