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M&A in the consulting industry: To boldly go…
[SCENE: Space. A couple of small stars are flickering in the distant darkness. Out of the blackness comes a vast metallic cube, closely resembling a car that’s been mechanically crushed, only bigger, much bigger. A small green dot flashes from one corner. Suddenly a brilliant yellow searchlight is switched on, illuminating a small space ship.]
DISEMBODIED VOICE: We are the Fourg. We will assimilate you.
[CUT TO BRIDGE OF THE SMALL SPACE SHIP. TWO GUINEA PIG-LIKE CREATURES, SEATED ON CHINTZ CUSHIONS, ARE STARING AT THEIR CONSOLES IN TERROR.]
DISEMBODIED VOICE: We are the Fourg. Species 5642, we will assimilate you. You will become part of the collective. You will become Fourg.
GUINEA-PIG-LIKE CREATURE #1: No, please, we like being small guinea-pig-like creatures. We don’t want to be Fourg.
DISEMBODIED VOICE: You have no choice. You will become Fourg.
GUINEA-PIG-LIKE CREATURE #2: But we have special skills. We could be useful to you as we are. You don’t need to assimilate us.
DISEMBODIED VOICE: You will become Fourg. We will absorb your skills into our knowledge banks. We will take over your clients.
GUINEA-PIG-LIKE CREATURE #2: But our clients won’t like it. They like us because we’re experts in our chosen field. Our knowledge will get lost if we get assimilated.
DISEMBODIED VOICE: Nonsense! Your clients will have access to a pan-Galactic resource pool. Instead of having to go to a two-guinea-pig-like creature business, they can draw on the collective knowledge of 50 billion Fourg, all of whom will be able to access your expertise.
GUINEA-PIG-LIKE CREATURE #1: Our expertise is special, acquired through many years of practice. Your drones will not be able to replicate it. Why don’t you teleport some of your drones over to our ship? They can learn from us. We will be more valuable to you if you don’t absorb us.
DISEMBODIED VOICE: What is it that’s so special? What are you experts in?
GUINEA-PIG-LIKE CREATURE #1: Chintz cushions.
DISEMBODIED VOICE: Resistance is futile.