So the firm I want to couple up with is…

As TV audiences in Europe are gripped by the dramas of their respective Love Island villas, we imagine the scenes at Recruitment Island, a reality TV show in which consulting firms and the talent pool try to find their ideal match…

[Scene: It’s 30 degrees in Majorca, and Anton, Danny, and Tommy are poolside, eyeing up the consulting firms that have entered the villa. It’s not just the weather that’s getting hot… The camera focuses on their conversation.]

Anton: I really like McBainsy, but I’m getting really mixed messages, you know? One minute she tells me she’s looking for a strategy guy, the next she’s saying digital… The firm is fire but I just don’t know what she really wants.

Danny: It’s hard to know if you’re 100% her type on paper.

Tommy: I had a chat with McBainsy and she said she was looking for data scientists and change people…

Danny: She told me my technology skills are really attractive to her.

[All three look confused.]

Anton: I reckon she’s keeping her options open.

[Vigorous nodding all round.]

Tommy: KPEY was really grafting me for the last few weeks, but since I did her online tests she’s been really slow to let me know if she wants to couple up with me. And since then that new small firm with an entrepreneurial culture has made me an offer—and the salary isn’t bad either!

Anton: Some of those firms that have been around here a long time are really slow to make a decision… I can’t be waiting around that long. I’ve got a wandering eye.

Danny: Have you seen the salary on A.T. Wyman though? She’s totally my type, and the opportunities for progression are tasty.

Tommy: But aren’t you coupled up with Accloitte? Are you going to graft A.T. Wyman or stay loyal?

Danny: I’m loyal babe, but could I be happier…? She promised me glamorous strategy projects during recruitment, but since we coupled up she’s wanted me to do process mapping in a windowless room in Swindon.

Anton: Stop being a melt, you should crack on with A.T. Wyman, she’s got the right client portfolio to meet your needs.

Tommy: You have been with Accloitte for a while now—maybe you need a new challenge.

[McBainsy makes her way over from the other side of the pool.]

McBainsy: Danny, can we have a quick chat? I’ve got an amazing opportunity for you…

[The boys exchange wry smiles, credits roll, and an advert for teeth-whitening products follows.]

In September we’re publishing our first Talent Attractiveness Index, which will analyse firms’ attractiveness to candidates, the coherence and experience of their recruitment, employees’ perceptions and their loyalty to a firm, and much more.